Articles & Advice

Updated Feb 6th, 2009

By learning to read your date's body cues -- those valuable ways we speak to each other nonverbally -- you'll be able to tell very quickly if you're compatible or not. What type of cues are you looking for? Everything from disheveled hair to a sincere, crinkly-eyed smile will give you the inside scoop on whether it's going to be a chilly handshake or a passionate kiss when you say good night.

Even though we like to think we control what the world sees about us, we don't. But the good news is that it makes it that much easier to figure out someone else. "Humans are pretty primitive creatures," Greg Hartley, a former Army interrogator and author of the new body-language tome 'I Can Read You Like a Book,' told The New York Post. "We want to think we're much more advanced, but we're not very different than apes. Any time a person's aroused, you can see in the face the cheeks are flushed, the lips are more full and the pupils will dilate."

To that end, New York Post reporter Mandy Stadtmiller has come up with a list of body cues and what they mean. Going on a date? Review this first!

1. Is her face swollen?
This is a good sign -- unless she's had too much to drink. It means your date likes you a lot, but she might not want you to know it (yet).

2. Is this person too perfect?
If it seems that he's too perfect, chances are he's pretending to be someone he's not. Run!

3. Is her face all white and thin?
It's going to be a stressful night. Your date is feeling the "flight or fight" syndrome.

4. Is his hair extra disheveled?
Assuming it's not a fashion statement or your date isn't an artist or poet, this signals he didn't take the time to comb his hair. That says you're not worth even a minute in front of the mirror. Be careful!

5. Is she slumped or hunched?
This girl has no self-confidence!

6. Is your date looking at everyone but you?
He might do this because he's nervous, but it's also a signal he'll cheat. Move to a different place in the venue and see if he keeps it up. If so, go home early.

7. Is your date talking out of rhythm with hand movements?
Alarm bells should go off. This is a favorite trick of salesmen and smooth talkers. What is happening in the brain isn't in tune with the rest of the body. Don't trust her!

8. Is your date acting too cocky?
If so, it's a sign that he's insecure. You decide if it's endearing or annoying.

9. Is there a sincere, crinkly-eyed smile?
This is what you want to see! It means she is really having a good time. On the other hand, if the smile seems forced or plastic, it means she's just being polite.

10. Is he sitting close (and you kind of like it)?
Yes, chemistry can develop in as little as five minutes. If he has flushed cheeks and swollen lips, these are arousal cues. Honey, he's into you! If your body is reacting the same way, get a room.

Next: Five Surprising Signs He's Hooked