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Help! I'm in Love with My Best Friend

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Filed under: Friends & Family, Romance, Relationships, eHarmony

Posted Nov 12th 2008 12:12PM

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Help! I'm in Love with My Best FriendYou share everything with your best friend. You've told him or her those deep, dark secrets without fear. They are the first person you call when you have one of 'those' days and you are completely and totally accepted by him or her. What happens when you realize that your best friend isn't just your best friend? What happens when you realize that it's love?


Remember the Risk

Before you take any 'next steps,' it's important to remember the risk. You completely trust your best friend and the two of you have probably been through a whole lot together. There is a chance that your friend only thinks of you as a friend – or even worse, as a brother or sister. If they find out you are in love with them, it could scar the relationship you have badly.

However, you can't stop love from happening and it's a very hard thing to bottle up. As you determine the best way to deal with the situation, remember that there is always a risk of losing your friend altogether. On the other hand, you could find the most fulfilling, beautiful relationship ever. It's up to you to decide whether it's worth the risk.

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Take a Closer Look at the Situation

If you're in love, it may help to step back in order to get that closer look. Has your best friend shown any sign that he or she might be in love with you as well? There is always that fear of losing your friendship if the 'L' word is mentioned, so there's a possibility your friend has been keeping a huge secret from you as well. Think about any subtle signs that your friend may have dropped. If you can't think of anything, don't give up hope yet.

Drop Some Subtle Hints Yourself

If you want your friend to know what you've been keeping inside, sometimes the 'small dose' method is best.
Drop a few hints to your friend and see if they catch on. You might 'jokingly' suggest that the two of you give up on the rest of the dating scene and just become a couple. This will also give you the chance to gauge your friend's reaction to the idea!

Another great subtle hint is mentioning how no one else understands you as well as your friend or how well the two of you get along. Even if your friend doesn't realize that your hints are actually coming from the heart, you will be gently preparing them to hear the truth. He or she may take it better than if you just blurt it out all at once.

When the Cat is Out of the Bag

Once your friend knows that you're in love with him or her – there are a few different ways it can go. They will either admit that they have been in love with you as well; they will be completely disturbed because they've never thought of you as anything but a friend or they won't exactly know what they think until they've absorbed the truth.

Either way, you will probably feel great to have that one off your chest.

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If your friend is in love with you as well, then it was definitely worth the risk. Since friendship is a solid base for a relationship, you have the potential of having a great one. But, what if your friend is completely disturbed and turned off?

- If Your Friend Wants No Part of a Romance

In this case, it's important that you let them know its ok. While you may not have that same close friendship, you might still salvage some of the relationship you once had. You also don't want to appear overly needy or clingy – as it may turn them off even more. At this point, it might be worth it to try and move on the best way you can.

- If He or She Just Isn't Sure

If your friend isn't sure how they feel, give them some space to think it over. Again, you don't want to seem needy. Make sure your friend knows that you will be alright no matter what they decide and allow them the time to absorb the truth and decide how they feel about it.

Love is never easy and for every reward, a risk is involved. Being in love with your best friend may be the most difficult thing you've ever had to deal with, but it could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

Next: 5 Surprising Signs He's Hooked

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