Articles & Advice

According to the steps to Catholicism, I'm 100% Catholic. My mother draped my body in white and my head was splashed with holy water. I sat in Saturday catechism classes and learned about Adam and Eve, Cain and Able, Noah and his arc. I was clothed in white once again and presented with the body and blood of Christ for the first time after a nerve-racking first time confession and, years later, a first time confirmation.

God was everywhere. In the morning when I asked for Mami's blessing. On Sunday afternoons when I went to Spanish Catholic mass. At night when I uttered the Padre Nuestro and Dios Te Salve Maria. But then I grew up and I kissed boys. I played with the idea of losing my virginity before walking down the aisle in a white dress and felt conflicted. How did my strict, moral, Catholic values fit in with my sexual desires? Should I stifle my desires even though parts of our bodies are strictly made to achieve a climax? I dug into my Catholic teachings and realized that because my body is my temple it is up to me to decide.

But what if you're still struggling? What if your inner temptress is rampant or your inner Puritan is crucifying your mind and heart? Well here are some tips to help you decide what's right for your temple:

Listen to God's Message
God teaches to do no harm and to love one another unconditionally, as he does. Whatever choices you make regarding premarital intercourse, make sure it is one that demonstrates the love and respect you have for God, yourself and your mate. Protect your body, your heart and soul, as well as that of your mate, as strongly as God protects all of us. That way you will be at peace with your decision.

Be Your Own Person
There are lists of do's and don'ts in all religions, including Catholicism. In the long run, however, we must decide what is best for us. God created us in his own special mold. Yes we came from Eve, the first woman, and Adam, the first man, but we are as unique as we are the same. Each of our bodies is specially curved, molded, and hued. Each mind ticks differently. So why conform to a set criteria or do's and don'ts?

Question Your Choices
We have the ability to reflect. So if you are entertaining thoughts of premarital sex and feel conflicted, ask yourself some questions. You can begin with the following: why do I want to experience this prior to marriage? How will I feel - mind, body, and soul -- afterwards? Will I be at peace with my decision, whatever it is? Dig deep and listen to your heart. That's where the answers lie because that's where God lies.

Next: Keep Your Faith, Be Yourself