Coping with Modern Dating

Articles & Advice

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Filed under: Dating Tips, Women Only, Online Dating, Religious, CatholicPeopleMeet

Posted May 28th 2009 7:00PM

by Sujeiry Gonzalez, for CatholicPeopleMeet

Times have changed and so has the current world of dating. Courting has drastically changed into a texting competition and multiple speed-dating events. Plus, let's not forget dating through social networking sites. Of course, there's nothing wrong with meeting people online. This is the year 2009 and we should be open to the options that this new, fast paced world provides. But what about after chatting, emailing and texting for a few weeks? We definitely need to step away from the computer because we don't want to feel we're dating our computers! Needless to say, it is very frustrating. But computers are only getting smaller and fingers are only typing faster. So ladies, we must learn to cope with the changes or remain single. Here are some tips to help us along the way:

Confess Your Needs
Confess your needs after a third date. If you are a traditional and devout Catholic then you are seeking a committed relationship full of trust, respect, shared beliefs, and communication. Unfortunately, it is difficult to build these important aspects of a relationship if the relationship is mainly developing over text messages, emails, and instant messaging. So tell the man you are dating what you need. Whether its hour-long phone calls, meeting the family, or sharing laughs in person, you must confess your needs in order to receive.

Learn to Compromise
Jesus sacrificed himself for our sins. He wanted us to live wonderful lives and be filled with love for our neighbors, our family members, and ourselves. So it shouldn't be that difficult for us to compromise to achieve that happiness. State your needs but be flexible. If you need to speak to the man you're dating every day but he works hard and can't give you that time every day, then find satisfaction in speaking to him every other day. As long as what you compromise doesn't compromise your relationship's success, and your happiness, then you can do it!

Take a Calm Stance
During a Catholic mass you can feel calmness. You can especially feel this calmness when the priest asks the congregation to give la paz or the sign of peace. Strangers turn to each other and embrace, wishing one another tranquility and love. So let's bring this same tranquility into our romantic relationships. Take this peace of mind with you when communicating your desires and when compromising with your loved one. Love can be difficult and complicated (like technology) or it can be simple and just flow. Take a calm stance and embrace the latter instead of the former.

Next: A Catholic Single Debates Pre-Marital Intercourse

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akasha20092

Jun 5th 2009 @ 5:08PM report

I have to say that when i browsed at the catholic singles for women to see what i was up against. that is some pretty "loose" competition if you know what i mean. some of those women are showing their stomachs or half their boobs are showing. some of yous B@tch#s, put some clothes on and cover that cleavage. have some self respect. look like SLUTS!! talking abt a pillow between ur legs and orgasmic whatever.

Eric

Jun 6th 2009 @ 2:54PM report

Four years ago, I was a member of Catholic Match, looking for a single, never before married, faithful Catholic woman in the St. Louis area who was younger than myself by at least three years. I was sorely disappointed with the number of such women I had to choose from; there were only 42, when I had expected literally hundreds to choose from, even within a 250-mile radius of St. Louis. Most of the "encounters" (that's what their contacts were called) were from Asia; I refuse to look outside the United States due to tougher immigration laws. The closest to St. Louis I got one from was somewhere in Kentucky. Although I paid for one year, I pulled the plug after just three months. A lesson was learned from that: the competition for faithful, single Catholic women in the St. Louis area is simply too much.

I also checked out Catholic Mingle in late 2007; the choices were even worse: only one to choose from! I did not make the same mistake twice, and canceled my trial membership.

I was also in three single young adult groups in the Archdiocese of St. Louis in the late 1990s, and attended many events where men outnumbered women. There was NOT ONE event where women outnumbered men. The last event I attended was a Valentine's dance ten years ago...85% of those in attendance were men. God told me that it was time to go. I vowed never to date a woman near my age or older again. I reflected and prayed extensively before making that decision. I also reflected and prayed extensively before I made another vow last year: to never date a St. Louis woman again, as long as I live.

There is another alternative...SEARCH OUTSIDE YOUR OWN METROPOLITAN AREA!

akasha20092

Jun 8th 2009 @ 5:53PM report

That really sucks. sorry to hear that. you know i was told that you will meet that "one" person when you are not looking. I'm not sweatin' it.()where i live not much to choose from. anyhoo. i thk i'm going to follow that advice. do you travel alot? maybe you'll meet someone when you go on vacation? you never know. i'm holding out for my "craig parker"look alike.lol(don't i wish) of course hehas to have all the things i look for in a partner,or a friend. good luck on that.

Adrian

Sep 10th 2009 @ 3:04PM report

I notice there haven't been any articles on what to do if the guy or girl you are interested in is an agnostic, athiest or any non-Christian faith. I'm a Catholic, but even I realize that the days of Catholics marrying just Catholics are gone. It's sad, but true. Show us some articles about how to make mixed-belief marriages work! My parents were a Catholic and a non-denominational Protestant who were happily married for 18 years until my dad died from heart trouble. They never forced their beliefs on my siblings and I. One of my childhood friends was the child of a very happily married Jewish and Muslim couple! They've been married for twenty-six years today!

Peace,
Adrian

Eric

Nov 14th 2009 @ 2:40AM report

I was in a relationship for eight and a half years with an atheistic woman, from March of 1985 to September of 1993. During the whole time I dated her, I was a Southern Baptist. I became engaged to marry her in the summer of 1989; we contentiously broke it off four years later. A little more than a year after I ended that relationship, I left the Southern Baptist Convention and started RCIA.

While I was in RCIA, I realized the error of my ways. When I was looking through Paul's Second Letter to the Corinthians, I came across Chapter 6, Verses 14 and 15. It tells us to be "equally yoked". In my last relationship, my ex-fiancee and I were unequally yoked. Since I converted to the Catholic tradition, I have dated primarily Catholic women. I simply refuse to marry a non-Catholic, realizing the lessons I learned from my last relationship.

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