Surviving Thanksgiving Dayby eHarmony Advice
In the dating trenches, do you ever wonder if your dating skills are up to date or so five years ago? Wonder no more! What follows are four brand spanking new rules of dating. When you learn to embrace them, your results will dramatically shift from so-so to sensational...
Rule #1: Multi-dating is now part of the game
Five years ago, online dating made it possible to have a date almost every weekend. That's not good enough anymore. Today, the savviest singles know that dating is a numbers game. Instead of putting all your emotional eggs in one basket, it's time to start multi-dating. How many is enough? If you can handle communicating with and arranging dates with three potential cuties at any given time, you're good to go. Sound daunting? It's not. Plus, the benefits of multi-dating are well documented. Your expectations are tempered because you're free from the pressure of making this one date WORK. There's comfort in knowing that if one guy gets away, another will take his place. And you get to put your flirting, dating, and mating skills to the test on a consistent basis. By analyzing the results (i.e. your date's reaction), you can tweak your behavior, minimize what doesn't work (being too talkative, texting him too much between dates, etc.) and amplify what does (keeping his interest by being moderately available, letting him know you're dating multiple people, etc.).
Rule #2: People have shorter attention spans (in other words, learn to work it!)
Remember when conventional wisdom blamed MTV for creating shorter attention spans? In 2009, a variety of outlets all vie for our attention at any given time. From video games to 24/7 email delivered directly to your iPhone or Blackberry, to keeping up on your friends' lives via Facebook and Twitter, the truth is, it's growing more and more challenging to not only get someone's attention, but to keep it. So how does that apply to your dating efforts? In all brutal honesty, it's not enough anymore to be a cute catch who's available. You've got to be a cute, clever, cutting edge catch who knows where her target market is and how to reach them. That means you've got to get in the social media game, create eye-catching profile headlines that you routinely update, and market your savvy single assets like a seasoned pro. Sound impossible? It's not. It just takes time, energy, and dedication. If you're committed to getting real results, you'll make the effort. You'll also reap the rewards – plenty of online interest that translates into spark-inducing dates and eventually, the relationship of your dreams.
Rule #3: Technology has changed the game (EMBRACE that!)
Gone are the days of creating a clever online dating profile, uploading your fave photo, and sitting back, relaxing while the winks, flirts, and interest poured in. In 2009, the internet dating pool is large and multi-faceted. You now you have to work a little harder to get real results. Invest in your success by embracing the multiple platforms now available to the average dater. From dating on multiple sites with specific target markets (covering the spectrum of marriage minded, pet-friendly, AND casual dating) to adding video of yourself to your profile to giving online video speed dating a try, now's the time to explore your options, test the results, and see what happens.
Rule #4: Dating is an industry
In the last five years, dating is not the only thing that's changed. The dating industry has evolved into a sophisticated social science. There are books dedicated to the art of online dating, how to snag and bag a good guy, and what rules to follow to ensure the man of your dreams proposes within the first year. There are also coaches and experts dedicated to your success. Your job? To employ the methods you find useful, master the new principles, and date accordingly. Think of your dating life as a fun and fabulous part time job. You need to implement the right tools, strategies, and support staff to make your job easier and more fun.
So there you have it. Four new rules of dating that'll rock your results. May you learn them, live them, and love them!
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Eric
Jul 27th 2009 @ 10:32AM report
I have thrown all those rules out the door. I don't really believe in multi-dating, since I have absolutely no tolerance for cheating. Shorter attention spans don't seem to attract me; I'm more interested in holding her attention for a longer period of time.
I've also tried embracing technology for dating; unfortunately, that has never worked for me. I tried a one-year membership in Catholic Match; however, I got so frustrated with the lack of selection of single women in my area and canceled my membership after three months. I also tried Catholic Mingle, but was also appalled with the lack of selection. I learned that my chances of getting a date (let alone a marriage partner) depended on WHERE I LIVE. If you're a single man in a city where there are fewer single women, your pool of potential dates is much smaller than if you're a single man in a city where there are more single women than single men. It's also not wise to find someone outside your own country. For example, immigration laws in the United States are much tougher now than they were 10 years ago.
There is REALLY only one rule for successful dating: leave the selection to God.
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