by Sarah Stefanson, for
No one wants to be ambushed by an unexpected breakup. Sometimes it's pretty obvious when a breakup is on the horizon, but other times, the signs your girlfriend gives that she's through with the relationship can be subtle. If you can pick up on these hints, you might be able to do something about it before it's too late and you find yourself dumped. Or, if you're entertaining the idea of breaking up yourself, you can beat her to the punch once you notice these subtle breakup warning signs.
Her friends don't talk to you
You may notice a change in how her friends act when you come around. In the past, they probably talked a mile a minute and you had trouble getting a word in edgewise, but now a strange hush falls over the group when you're present. If your girlfriend has been talking to them about wanting to break up with you, they are going to distance themselves from you -- whether they realize they're doing it or not. So when you walk into the room, instead of greeting you warmly, they'll find themselves at a loss for words; it's a classic among breakup warning signs.
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Once-mutual friends are now exclusively hers
This only applies if you get invited to events where her friends are in the first place. If she's thinking about breaking up with you, she'll probably stop inviting you along when she hangs out with her friends. They may have become mutual friends during your relationship, but when she wants to call it quits with you, they will become hers and hers alone once more. It's likely a subtle breakup warning sign if her response to you asking about her plans for tomorrow night is along the lines of; "I'm going to hang out with my friends."
Her stuff starts disappearing from your place
You're used to seeing her toothbrush beside yours in the bathroom, random DVDs she has brought over on your shelves and that concert tee she loves to sleep in strewn on your floor, but lately these things seem to be gradually disappearing. You might be tempted to blame some of it on a spring cleaning spree, but once the feminine products vanish from your medicine cabinet, it should be clear that she's moving her stuff out of your place so she won't have anything to go back for once she dumps you.
You don't fight anymore
While fighting constantly may be a more obvious hint that the end of a relationship is near, not fighting at all might be a subtler sign that she's ready to say goodbye. If the little things that normally drive her crazy and provoke a screaming match between the two of you are no longer happening, it could mean that she just doesn't care anymore. It's possible that she has lost all emotional investment in the relationship, so even if you try to get a rise out of her, she won't take the bait. If she is uncharacteristically calm in situations that used to set her off, it might be a subtle breakup warning sign.
Take a hint
Any one of these breakup warning signs on its own may be cause for alarm, but if you're experiencing all of them, it's pretty obvious that your relationship is in serious trouble. Decide whether you want to fix it or move on and then take the appropriate action. Allowing your relationship to stagnate in this state will only allow resentments to fester and guarantee that the inevitable breakup will be ugly.
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Eric
Sep 21st 2009 @ 5:57PM report
Another hint that isn't mentioned is when the girl wants to spend every waking moment with the guy, without any involvement from friends or family. This happened in the last six months of the relationship...we were making plans to get married, and spent our days off getting ideas for that day (which never came). When we parted, I didn't know that I would have to go without a girlfriend for such a long time.
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