Articles & Advice

Just like the rest of my generation, I fell in love with the character Tigger from Winnie The Pooh. Remember the adorable, pouncy tiger?

It was not until recently that I realized Tigger was a horrible influence on the youth of today. He preached about pouncing and how it was fun, fun, fun!

Pouncing is not and should not be fun, fun, fun because it can get you into trouble, trouble, trouble.

In my business as a Wing Girl I encounter men, all the time, who allow themselves to impulsively respond to their emotions and pounce on women. Pouncing is behavior that usually occurs when a man meets a woman he is very attracted to and wants to get her to feel the same. He attempts to do this by attempting to be perceived as the perfect man. He calls constantly, shares feelings too quickly, is overly available, compliments for no reason. You get the picture.

Unbeknown to men, these actions scream out needy, dependent and desperate. All attributes that women are highly turned off by.

Why is it that this behavior is seen as unattractive? One would think that attention and showering of emotion would be flattering to a woman. Not so. This type behavior turns them off faster than you can say ketchup!

Why? Why is this behavior so repulsive to women?

It's repulsive because behavior like this is not manly. It's weak behavior from a male who does not fully understand his value and sacrifices his self worth for the attention of an attractive stranger.

For me, as a woman, I find it strange when a man who does not even know me yet is willing to drop everything in his life to please me and pounce on me. He knows nothing about me. Why is he so eager?

So I automatically assume there is something wrong with him and become completely turned off.

I then proceed to dodge his calls, make dates over texting that I will eventually cancel last minute and try really hard to avoid seeing him ever again. A lot of my girlfriends who find themselves in similar situations respond exactly the same way as I just described. It's just too much too fast.

A lot of the men who I work with used to act this way towards women. They would pounce, and then get completely crushed when a woman didn't respond favorably to their seemingly romantic behavior.

I would enlighten these men by telling them what their behavior was saying to women and got them to admit to why they were acting that way. Most of the men admitted that this type of behavior stemmed from insecurity, discomfort and confusion.

Once we got all of those emotions in check and worked on building self-respect and confidence we found that the pouncing stopped and they were starting to see better results with women.

My clients learned that the more they valued themselves the more women would feel the same way. There was no need to immediately pounce. Instead they would take their time and evaluate whether or not they wanted to invest further in a woman. They finally understood that they were involved in the choice to connect.

So single men of the world, listen up. Be strong, respect yourself and leave the pouncing to Tigger!

Marni is the founder of The Wing Girl Method, a company that assists men in understanding What Women Want by offering them an honest and real female perspective.