By Susan L. Hornik
Courtesy of Match.com's Happen magazineThe star of 'Take the Lead' reveals his top secrets to romance a woman -- and why a little chivalry will win major points on the dating front.
Q: In your latest film, 'Take the Lead,' you play a passionate ballroom dance instructor to some inner-city high school students who grow closer to each other as a result. Why do you think dancing is such an aphrodisiac?
A: Because it's not about individualism. I remember when I was eighteen and I used to go to discos back in my home town of Malaga, Spain, dancing was something you and your partner did together; there was a certain integration. Then in the 1980's that disappeared. Now, it's about people showing off their individual talents -- look at me, look at what I do -- but it's nothing about the other person. Ballroom dancing especially brings a certain intimacy, respectfulness and discipline: You have to look into each others' eyes, you are holding each other, all of those little things create an internal rhythm. It's something you have to share together.
Q: Do you and your wife, actress Melanie Griffith, go out dancing?
A: No. We don't go out to dance, we dance at home. The last time was at Christmas! She loves to dance! She wanted to be a ballerina for many years before she was an actress.
Q: Do you do anything else out of the ordinary to make a woman feel wonderful?
A: I still hold doors for women! When I first came to this country and I would hold the door for women, they would respond exactly like they do in the movie -- smile! In Europe, you do this and the woman passes through, no big deal. But in America, I'd really get noticed, which is when I decided to do this more often! So it works!
Q: You've been married for almost 11 years now. What would you say is the biggest challenge in a relationship?
A: People love that rush that happens at the beginning of a relationship. The first kiss ... the first time you make love ... then when that disappears, you are searching for more. You think "Oh, life is short, so I need to find someone else."
Q: So what's the secret to staying in love with someone long after the initial buzz is gone?
A: It's very difficult. That initial rush will never come back. But if you are a little bit patient, you find places that are just as wonderful. Melanie and I come from very strong (but wrong) relationships before we met each other, so when we got together we wanted to find all those places that we knew were there. You have to come through crises and dark places and then emerge from that stronger. You then realize after the seventh or eighth year, looking back, that there really is so much that two people can share. You fall in love all over again.
Contributing entertainment editor
Susan L. Hornik is based in Los Angeles.
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