By Leah Ingram
Courtesy of Match.com's Happen magazine
If you are recently divorced, dating may feel brand new to you again -- not to mention anxiety-provoking. But there's no need to worry. "Divorced men can meet women just about anywhere," says April Masini, a Los Angeles-based author of 'Date Out of Your League.' So, in addition to going to a bar with your wingman and asking your friends to set you up, here are some other smart options to try. (They worked for the guys quoted in this story, so maybe they'll work for you too).
Professional Organizations
Do you belong to a professional organization? Ever attended an annual conference or regional get-together? It was at one such event that two Pennsylvania-based authors hooked up. They had met for a member's book reading, and within minutes of sitting near each other, they were smitten. Next time you think that one of these meetings isn't worth your time or effort, remember that the love of your life could be sitting in the next conference session.
Online Dating
The Internet is a great place to meet women when you’re newly divorced. You may think, 'But I don't know how to do that!' but it's actually very simple -- and there are millions of people out there online. If they could figure out how to post a profile, so can you. Online dating lets you re-enter the dating scene gradually -- you can spend some time searching and reading profiles -- and it's a confidence-booster to see how many people are out there with interests that dovetail with yours. "I live in a fairly small town," says Joe, of Galena, Ill, "and just didn't know how to connect with like-minded women. Going online let me connect with more than a couple of women in the area who are golf fanatics like I am. And having exchanged emails upfront made that first face-to-face meeting more relaxed."
Hobby Clubs and Activities
What do you love to do when you’re not working? Pursue that passion and you're bound to meet someone you can chat easily with. Now, shooting, sailing and playing paintball may tend to be male-oriented pastimes, but many divorced men have reported meeting interesting women through such endeavors. Says one Hudson Valley, New York sailor: "The best part about meeting a woman at a sail club meet was that I knew immediately we had something in common and could pursue a shared hobby together as a date." Another guy, who frequently went on hikes through the Appalachian Mountain Club -- and meet his fair share of women that way -- soon took to referring to the club as the Appalachian Mating Club. That said, you don't need to pursue 'manly man' activities to meet someone -- if you're a bridge player, book lover, or dessert maker, sign up for a class or lecture on the topic and see what like-minded women are out there!
At the Dog Park
It may seem cliché, but dogs really are chick magnets. The guys in the HBO series Entourage have used their Rottweiler to meet women, and divorced men across the country have done the same at local dog parks with their shepherds and Shih-Tzus. "A dog park is a non-threatening place to meet someone," says Toni Coleman, a licensed clinical social worker in McLean, Va., and founder of the website www.consum-mate.com. It's natural for dog owners to chat up with other owners nearby while their dogs play, and if you find you enjoy talking with a lady -- and your dogs enjoy playing together -- make plans to meet up again for a doggie date.
Grocery Shopping
TV's Take Home Chef has nothing on guys like Gene from Florida. "When I was newly divorced, the best place for me to meet women was at the supermarket," says Gene, a writer. "It was non-threatening for them, and a conversation could be struck up over lettuce, soy milk, chorizos, Egg Beaters, anything, or nothing at all. If the chemistry was not right, just move from produce to dairy and a whole new environment." You may have similar luck on line at the local delicatessen or coffee bar. "If you strike up a conversation related to ordering food, such as 'Would you recommend the turkey club or am I better off going with the grilled cheese?' you break the ice within the context of your setting," says Coleman. "Women are nurturers by nature -- they love to help." And even if you are hitting on her, she doesn’t feel like you are. The best way to determine if she’s receptive to you? Watch her body language. "Is her posture open? Is she maintaining good eye contact? Is she asking questions?" Coleman suggests as examples of someone showing interest in you. On the other hand, if she’s avoiding eye contact, trying to turn away or glancing at her watch, her body language is saying, "Buzz off, Bud."
Anywhere You Can Expand Your Mind
"I took a couple of courses through the Learning Annex in subjects that mostly women would take," says Dave of Texas. "Things like watercolor painting and shiatsu. The classes were filled with women, and they seem delighted to have me in their midst." The important thing to keep in mind when taking classes like these -- even just a yoga class at the local health club -- is this: Only take the class if it genuinely interests you. If you are signing up just to meet women, sooner or later they'll uncover you for the fraud you are. "If she finds out that you really don't like yoga and she does -- and she thought that it was great that you shared this interest," says Coleman, "then right away you will be hiding something from her or misrepresenting yourself." That's no way to start a relationship.
Search Boomer Singles Near You
Through Your Church/Synagogue/Religious Services
Many houses of worship have mingling events for single members. Check the bulletin board or newsletter to see if something like that might coming up, and consider attending. The great thing about meeting someone this way is you can be sure you share one commonality -- your faith.
At a Local Diner or Restaurant
If you are a regular at a diner or restaurant, then you get to know all of the other regulars there, too. Maybe you meet your college buddies once a month for breakfast or go for coffee and pie after shooting hoops on a Thursday night. If you see someone that you'd like to meet, ask the waitress to intervene. That's what happened to Adrienne in California. One day she was sitting at the counter and the waitress came over and asked her if she was single. When Adrienne said yes, the waitress told her that a guy who would see her all the time in the diner wanted to ask her out. She gave the waitress her phone number, the waitress played matchmaker, and now seven years later, Adrienne is still with that guy!
Writer Leah Ingram met her husband, then newly divorced, on a commuter train platform. They will celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary this November. Check out Leah’s new blog at http://suddenlyfrugal.blogspot.com.Want More Love? Go to AOL Personals.
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