Dear Sugar & Spice ... Friends tell me that dating pasts don't matter when meeting someone new. Does this apply to someone I was married to for ten years? The reason is that my ex-wife is black and I am white. So to cast a wide dating net, I am finding that I am dating lots of white women. Do I need to tell them about my ex-wife and, if so, how do you bring it up? Eventually, I am going to meet that someone special and it will all come out. I just want to be upfront so I am not viewed as hiding anything.
Search for Local Singles
A Little Sugar
Everyone starts to form an opinion from the moment you meet. Initially, it start's with clues from your appearance and how you carry yourself. As you get to know each other, your likes and dislikes surface in conversation -- sending more clues or even red flags. And eventually, she/he sees where you live and meets your friends. Bottom line is that EVERYTHING matters, even pasts, when dating. But who says you have to spill every detail? Hopefully, your date is smart enough to log what is and isn't important. It's inevitable that you're date is going to have a moment of slight concern over something that is revealed and, if it's over something as minor as the race of your ex-wife, then probably best for her to move on. There are more important things to fret over like your health and sanity.
Take a Look! She Might Just Be Here
A Lot of Spice
I never like it when a man I'm dating spends a lot of time talking about past relationships, unless it's relevant. For example, if a past relationship resulted in children then I want to know about it. If a past relationship left them with bad credit, I probably want to know that too, because both of them would affect me and the nature of our relationship. But I can't see how the race of an ex would make any difference, unless you think that it's a deal breaker for some of the white women you'll date. If that's the case, then share as soon as possible, maybe even on introduction: ''Hi, my name is __________ and I was married to a black woman for 10 years.'' That should do it.