Dear Sugar & Spice ... I have been speaking to this guy over the phone for the pass two weeks. The conversation is great and we call each other every day. He is scheduled to come to NYC for a visit so we've agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. My problem is that I'm afraid there might not be any physical chemistry because a friend told me that he is short. Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to short guys -- tall, dark and handsome always catches my eye. I have seen his face on his webcam, but I have never seen a full size picture of him. Should I tell him that I'm not attracted to short men before he comes?
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A Little Sugar
This is one of the main reasons why dating is so difficult. We all have a list, for some its multiple lists, of what we look for in a potential partner. And we have an even longer list of what he/she best NOT have. But if you want to be successful at dating, you must revisit your list and par it down to a couple key things, i.e. like not dating a serial killer. Height can be a valid concern but is it really a deal breaker? Imagine you meet him and you find out he is a successful plastic surgeon who loves kids and respects his parents. On top of that, he looks like Tom Cruise, maybe Tobey Maguire. Has your opinion changed? I say meet him and you just might find he has a redeeming quality that completely overpowers the short stature issue YOU have. The more you limit yourself, the more you limit love. As for finding the perfect man, it's too late since he's already taken by me -- sorry.
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A Lot of Spice
Here's the funny thing about your dilemma; you're already attracted to him. You may not normally be attracted to short guys, but you've been talking to this short guy every day for 14 days straight. That's attraction. You've made plans to meet him because you like your conversation, and what you've seen on the webcam. That's attraction. It sounds to me like you just want to be prepared with an exit clause should you not like something else about him when he comes to visit. How about this: instead of preparing for the worst, why don't you focus on how much you already like him. And, if he does something that really turns you off when he comes to visit, you can let him down then.