Dear Sugar & Spice ... I haven't really dated much and, when I have, it never lasts beyond two dates. This Saturday, I am going on a date with a guy who I met at a local restaurant. I'm a therapist/counselor and he overheard me talking to my mom about my work so he asked me for some advice. We talked for a while and I felt like we really clicked. And since he was going through a messy divorce (hence the advice), he didn't ask me out at the time. Now, two months later, we are finally going to get together at his place and hang out. I have always sucked at making things work, but some of the first date pressure is off since we've talked some. But still, I don't know what I should or shouldn't do. I would really like to make this work so can you give me any kind of advice, please?
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A Little Sugar
Do what comes naturally which might include an evening of hot sex. Anyone who is going to 'hang out' at his place on the first official date is probably going to do more than play Scrabble. Not that sex is a problem (it's not for me), but you seem to already know this going into the date. And your letter seems to want to validate your future actions, just a little. So be clear and don't be fickle when the time arises. Odds are that sex might be part of the date. If you aren't comfortable with sex, then do what the rest of us do for a first date and go to a coffee shop. Still confused? Call mom since she probably has even better advice for you. Chime In | Meet Sugar
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A Lot of Spice
Just continue to be yourself. He obviously likes what he's seen so far, and that's a good thing. I'm sure you haven't ALWAYS sucked at making things work. You must be doing something right; you're two months into dating this guy. Maybe you should do a little self-analysis to figure out why you choose men you have to MAKE it work with, and why you're so hard on yourself when you do find a guy you like -- and one you're making it work with so far. Focus on the positive, relax and just do what comes naturally. If he doesn't like that, then he's probably not the guy for you. Chime In | Meet Spice