Dear Sugar & Spice ... I am curious how women and men feel when the woman makes more money than the man. Is it an instant deal breaker? How much of a difference will a woman accept? I lost my job due to foreign outsourcing. I have a bachelor and MBA, but I am currently under employed as I am changing careers. Most of the women I see in online ads are searching for someone making twenty five to fifty-thousand more than I am making. And, in some cases they are seeking someone making that much more than what they make. I am relatively debt free and own my own home. I am physically active and do have a fairly active social life, but I don't have near the disposable income I previously had. Therefore, I am somewhat reluctant to attempt to date someone that I know makes considerably more than myself. Are women's online ads targeting a certain salary range, a.k.a. gold digger, etched in stone?
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A Little Sugar
Some times it's just easier if you were gay (wink wink). The reason is you don't have to live up to society's established roles/ responsibilities that go with being either a woman or a man when it comes to dating. With a gay relationship, you have two individuals who are equal -- contrary to the straight-world's belief that one must be a man and the other a woman. So as a straight man, woman are still going to expect you to pay for the first date and, sad to say, to have a job that provides and pays well (sorry the caveman did you in a long time ago). That said, you're not out of the dating game because your income is less than hers. You've got lots of things going for you and, if a ROI is the first thing she thinks about when you meet, best for her to pan for gold somewhere else. Someday you may be a millionaire, so wouldn't it be nice to know she fell in love with you, the real you, than your income statement? Don't list your income range and see who bites!
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A Lot of Spice
The simple answer is, no it's not. But we all know dating is a lot more complicated than that, so the more important answer is that you'll just have to date to find out. Some women are looking for men who make significantly more than they do and some aren't. Either way, you're definitely going to have to date long enough to find out. If you're confident and happy with the lifestyle you lead, then why aren't you dating right now? You even have an advantage by dating online; you know what women are looking for just by looking at their profile. Sounds like you're the one with an etched-in-stone idea of what you have to bring to the table financially. Drop your own expectations, get out there and date.