Love Advice ... Telling You Like It Is
Sugar & Spice: He's Perfect, Except His Mother Hates Her -- Take Family Over Love?





Dear Sugar & Spice ... I've been with my boyfriend for three years and he is the love of my life. We're both in incredibly difficult and ambitious careers, yet we always support each. Regardless though of how well we fit and function or, how devoted we are to each other, his mother completely disapproves. See he's ''purebred'' Jewish, whereas, I come from a slew of religions. She disapproves so much, that she's making him choose between his family or me. How can a mother make a son do that? Would she rather have him marry for religious sake? I am spiritual, though not Jewish, and wouldn't mind raising the children in his religion.

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      Sugar's Profile on Love & Dating

      A Little Sugar

      Take religion out of the picture and isolate the core issue. His mother expects to be an influential part of his life and, unless he takes a stand, she will weigh in on every aspect of his life including who he loves, where he lives, how he raises his children -- even what he names them. So rather than cause friction with his mom, he's probably hoping you'll carry the sword and slay the dragon. What he needs to understand is that it's his mom and it's his responsibility to correct her, nor yours. So maybe I'm blessed since all my mother-in-law wanted was her son to be happy. She told him she'd love anyone he brought home, she just didn't expect it to be another man. Your boyfriend's mother isn't going to be that easy, but he'll figure out how to make it work or risk losing you.

          Spice's Profile on Love & Dating

          A Lot of Spice

          You already know why!!! Because mother's always think they know what's best for their children, even when the children are grown and can presumably think for themselves. His mother's behavior is ridiculous in this day and time. I mean, honestly, can't she be passive aggressive like most mothers are when they don't like their son's girlfriend? All kidding aside, I know how important it is to be loved by your boyfriend's family, but honestly, the only person you need to love you is him. Hopefully, he'll be able to keep both of you and find a way to stay out of the middle of his mother's issues with you. And, if he breaks under the pressure of his mom's wishes, good riddance; it's a little too crowded in that
          relationship anyway.