Dear Sugar & Spice ... I have been dating this guy for about three months. Each time we go out, we have a blast enjoying each others company. However, he always looks for me to help pay the bill when we go out. I don't mind, but I am just wondering if we are just friends or what? I know he makes more money than me, so why does he have me pay half all the time? I am just confused because most guys I have dated have paid for everything. I'm certain we are more than just friends since we are intimate with each other. And on top of that, he still has his online dating personal live making him appear that he's available. So if he were more than just friends, wouldn't he have pulled his profile down?
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A Little Sugar
You aren't going to like this, but intimacy doesn't mean commitment. This guy is playing you like a second fiddle and you know it, but don't want to admit it. Sure you don't want your heart broken if you call him on it, afraid he'll walk away. But wouldn't you rather be with someone who is 100% into you rather than a part-time fling? I say it's payback time so tell him no more sex and see how he reacts. Tell him that you equate sex with commitment and see if it spooks him. If he flies, he was never meant to be. This way you've given him a chance to step up his game with you and, if he doesn't, then cast your line back out since there are other fun and available single men out there who are looking for the same thing you are.
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A Lot of Spice
This is just a classic case of you having different definitions of ''more than friends.'' You're saying to yourself, ''well, if we were more than friends, we'd be having sex, he'd pay for everything and he'd take his profile down.'' Well, maybe he's thinking that dating for at least six months makes you more than friends. Maybe he can't pay for dates because he can't afford it, not because he thinks paying is proof positive that he's interested in you. And, if you haven't agreed to be committed to each other, than you're still dating, which means he's still single, and why shouldn't a single man have an online profile? The best thing to do in this situation is to relax and
enjoy what he IS doing, instead of worrying about what he's NOT doing.