Dear Sugar & Spice ... I am one of those women who gets lots of attention from men, but I need help handling them once a connection is made. I recently went on a cruise and met an incredibly handsome guy. The problem was his older uncle, who was also on the cruise, was attracted to me too. The uncle turned up the gusto in going after me -- causing the guy I really wanted to pull back. It was a game of chase and I never got to declare my feelings for the sexy guy. I know very little about the sexy guy and, from listening to his conversation, I suspect there was someone in his life back home. Anyway, the cruise ended and he never asked for my phone number. Now I'm all confused! Any insight -- something I missed or did wrong?
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A Little Sugar
Perhaps it's fate and you both WEREN'T meant to connect. I know that's not how it is suppose to happen, but his mind was noticeably elsewhere. When we travel, we all let our guard down and end up speaking to people we'd not even give a second glance to back home. Why not, you are on vacation looking to have fun, right? He too, probably wanted to put the world behind him, but there was someone back home that didn't let him. You have to respect that he didn't engage you with lies and deceit, and more so, play you out for pure vacation fun. He didn't lead you on and the 'game' was actually played out in your head and not his. You're used to being admired, I'm sure a real looker, but your special power didn't win this time. Sometimes you'll dial a wrong number and that's fine, but don't blame him or even yourself for the hang up.
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A Lot of Spice
Here's a fact that women sometimes overlook when they're being chased -- it doesn't matter how many guys like us; the guys we like are the only ones who matter. If you were interested in the handsome, sexy nephew, you could have put the brakes on the uncle with one sentence: ''Thanks, I'm flattered, but I'm not interested.'' That would have given you and sexy guy the opening you needed to ''explore your attraction.'' At the very least, you could have found out more about him, like whether he has a girlfriend or not. You have to figure out why you were playing the uncle-nephew game to begin with, especially since you came out the loser.