Dear Sugar & Spice ... I'm dating a married woman that I've known for about ten years. It is only until the last couple months that we have gone from friends to being romantically involved. She hasn't been happy with her husband for a long time and she wants to end it, but is holding on because of the kids. Her biggest concern is how her oldest children will view her if she initiates the split. She says she loves me and will leave him when the time is right. Do you think she really will leave him? How can I tell if her love for me is real or
just convenient?
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A Little Sugar
It's admirable that she puts her kids' interests before hers, but maybe she should put her husband's interests before hers too? Not being truthful with him about her intentions and riding him along like a fool only sends a message that she likes to have her cake and eat it too. As for you Mr. Cake, how would you feel if your wife was just as deceitful?
I suspect it is more than just the kids that has kept her with him all these years. I recommend you look elsewhere since this baggage will only get heavier as the story unfolds. Are you prepared to deal with an irate, and maybe vengeful, husband? How about a nasty and, probably, bitter divorce? How about a fickle and deceitful new love? The list goes on trust me!
Most importantly, you need to make sure you are prepared to love the entire 'her.' This woman is a package deal so that includes the kids - - something you haven't calculated in yet during this torrid love affair. Think with your head and make sure you are prepared for the outcome. It may feel good now, but reality will set in once she drops the bomb. Chime In | Meet Sugar
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A Lot of Spice
Interesting. The woman who is CHEATING on her husband is worried about what her kids would think about her if she left him. That would be laughable, hilarious even, if it weren't so sad.
Sad that there are a lot of people, kids included, who can get hurt in this affair. Sad that you weren't able to respect the sanctity of this woman's marriage, even when she didn't. And it's really sad that cheaters can still use the same "I'm staying in my marriage for the sake of the children" line and get away with it.
Since you need it spelled out for you, here goes: You can't tell if her love for you is real, because a woman who cheats and lies to her husband is probably someone who will lie to you too. There's one thing you can believe, though; something's wrong with her, the marriage or both. Leave her alone and let her work out her marital drama without using you.
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