Love Advice ... Telling You Like It Is
Sugar & Spice: Who Pays for the First Date?





Dear Sugar & Spice ... I'm just out of a 12 year relationship and recently started dating again at age 45. Who should pay for dinner on the first date? My girlfriends say that the man should always buy regardless of who asks who out. Is this the norm?

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      Sugar's Profile on Love & Dating

      A Little Sugar

      Well, speaking from the man's point of view, I don't really think it is expected that the man should always pay. So who pays when two men are dating? Don't assume the man is an automatic cash machine spitting out free lunches for every gal in town. When the date is established, you may want to mention up front that you'd like to split the check. If your intentions are known and he still decides to pick up the bill, then you did quite right. My big issue is that women assume it is the man's responsibility to pay all the time. What if men assumed women are to put out on the first date? Get my point? Go out on your date and have a fun time, but be clear up front on how to handle the bill.
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          Spice's Profile on Love & Dating

          A Lot of Spice

          Okay, pay close attention, because this is a good bit of information for you as you get back onto the dating scene: The dating norm is that there is no dating norm!! Isn't that wonderful!?! At age 45, you can start dating again, completely on your own terms. Oh, the freedom, the joy, the excitement!! The only rule that you have to follow is to have a great time, because dating should be fun, not stressful. New millennium dating is all about what works for you, so just do what makes you comfortable. Don't mind paying? Then handle the bill, like my girlfriend, who never lets a man shoulder the cost for her dinner. Want to be treated to a night on the town? There's nothing wrong with that either, and I'm sure you can find a man who would be okay with either situation. Chime In | Meet Spice