Dear Sugar & Spice ... I met a woman through my best friend and we hit it off immediately. So well, that we spent the night into the morning together talking, but nothing more. We both agreed to call each other, but we never did. My best friend and his girlfriend have been relaying messages to both of us, but I have not spoken to her directly since that night. Now he wants us to get together as a small group, but she doesn't want to be part of it if I am there. She is upset that I never called and has moved on. Should I let this die or finally make that long-awaited call? And if I make it, what should I say?
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A Little Sugar
Stop the party-line and get on the phone with her. Don't use your friends to deliver your messages. When she picks up the phone, be direct and explain to her there's no excuse why you didn't call. You want to make it right and hopefully she'll see it too. If she sees differently, politely end the call and thank her for the time you had with her. You are bound to see her again in social settings and a polite end minimizes the drama bomb she can toss at you when you do finally meet. Chime In | Meet Sugar
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A Lot of Spice
For the life of me, I can't figure out why you would spend an entire night talking to a woman that you wouldn't spend five minutes calling a day or two later. Maybe, if you did decide to call, you could start by explaining why you've used your friends to relay messages back and forth to her instead of picking up the phone yourself. Maybe you could be honest about why you didn't want to talk to her in the first place and where things stand. If you don't want to do this for her, do it for your friends who have been in between the two of you long enough. Then maybe you can both go back to being with your friends without all the tension. Chime In | Meet Spice