Dear Sugar & Spice ... I'm a 40 year-old single father of two. I've met a woman who is amazingly interesting. She even claims that we hit it off pretty well, but I seem to be spooking her each time I mention how perfect we are for each other. She takes it as if I am being pushy and she backs away. So would you say that it is smart to give her some space? Would you email her to let her know that you're still interested or is it best to just walk away and say the heck with it?
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A Little Sugar
Slow down partner! From your e-mail, I think I need some space too. You are very anxious and, with good reason, because you think she's right for you. But imagine you're on the freeway and some driver comes along from the rear and starts tailgating. As you speed up, so does the car behind. You get annoyed so you switch lanes. We'll she's doing the same thing, but you've knocked her clear over into the median strip. You need to step away and, when she's ready, she'll come to you. There's a chance she doesn't so you need to be mentally prepared for that. Be sure that when you do tell her you're backing off, that you're clear she knows you're still interested but that you respect her need for space. This way she has an open invite to reengage with you -- when she's ready.
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A Lot of Spice
Wow, you sure work in extremes. First, you just met and you know she's perfect for you. And now that she's spooked, you only have two options -- email her or walk away. It would be great if you could stop with the drastic shifts and find some sort of middle ground. Yes, give her some space, and if she's not too turned off by your stalker-ish behavior already, then maybe in a few weeks you can ask her out for a date. If she says no but doesn't try to reschedule, it's probably too late to turn the tide. But if she accepts, use the date to actually take the time to get to know her before declaring your undying
love. Please.