Dear Sugar & Spice ... Due to some mistakes and unwise choices in my 20s, I'm just now just getting my life together at age 35. As a result, I live with my mom and pay my own way in terms of college, food, rent, etc. As for love, I've never had a girlfriend -- going out on less than 10 dates in my entire life. I'm too old to hang around girls that go to my college and, the ones that are my age, are either married or have well paying jobs so I feel I'm too sub par for them. On top of all this, my looks aren't that good either. Am I too old for a relationship? Should I succumb to the fact that, if it hasn't happened by now, it never will. Should I just accept the fact I'll always be alone and single?
Search for Local Singles
A Little Sugar
There are people in their 50s and 60s who still haven't gotten their life together -- in a constant drift of failed marriages. Ease up and don't be so hard on yourself. The good thing is that you recognize that change is needed and, looking at the steps you've taken, are putting things in motion. You're never too late for love! I believe there's someone out there for everyone, but you'll miss her if you're hiding at home. First step, though, is to improve your self-esteem before pursing the prize. Unless you look like the Elephant Man, there are easy ways to build confidence in your appearance. Do you exercise? How about lift weights? Once you start packing on muscle or trim down, you can shift attention away from your 'perceived' negative areas to expose a new you. And don't stop there, update your wardrobe paying special attention to your shoes. Don't ask me why, but shoes tend to be the first thing a woman looks at -- besides a tight rear. Who would have known? Now get out there and mingle! Chime In | Meet Sugar | Meet Single Men
Now Give Your Two Cents! Vote & Post Your Advice
A Lot of Spice
Read this carefully, because this is the best advice I can give someone in your position: If you want to meet someone, the first thing you have to do is feel good about yourself. Honestly, more than a woman not wanting a man who is 35, living at home with his mom, not finished college -- or whatever else you think makes you not ''good enough for women,'' -- a woman doesn't want a man who's always down on himself. I mean, if you think you're a loser, then why would any woman you're interested in think any different? Hell, you ought to know. On the other hand, if you believe you're a wonderful catch and that any woman would be LUCKY to have someone like you -- intelligent, insightful, thoughtful, and determined to get his life on track -- then women will see all of your attributes. Bottom line: the difference between having a girlfriend and being alone is not making more money, moving out, or even getting plastic surgery ... it's your attitude. If there's any reason you could go to therapy, it's for a self-esteem boost. Chime In | Meet Spice | Meet Single Women