Dear Sugar & Spice ... I have been dating this woman for almost a year, but we broke up two months ago. Now we've started talking and hanging out again. I broke up with her because she was jealous and didn't trust me. It was nothing I did, but something tied back to a bad marriage. See, she was married before and her husband cheated many times. She is a great person and has all of the qualities I want in a woman except she won't show her feelings. She has said that she can see us together forever as a family, but is hard press to show it. The issue is that she is both scared and angry at me for breaking up with her. She wants me to guarantee I won't break things off ever again. What should I do?
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A Little Sugar
Although you say she has every quality you want in a woman, you still seem to be lacking both trust and open feelings -- both important in a healthy relationship. On top of that, you seem to label her with ''baggage'' from a previous relationship which might not be fair. As much as you think it can be perfect, there are still things to be worked on and not necessarily just on her end. On the flip side, she has valid concerns regarding stability since you've broken it off before for items that, at face value, don't seem to be corrected and they may never be. Unless things change, expect a vicious cycle of off again and on again which means high drama and many nights of tears to come. I think you both should look forward and acknowledge it's not right, now, and recognize that blame is always shared.
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A Lot of Spice
Honestly, I don't think there's anything you can do. I mean, you didn't do anything to affect her jealousy and distrust in the first place, so there's no possible way you can fix it, not even if you promise to never, ever, ever break things off with her again. Not even if you profess your love to her every hour on the hour. Not even if you send her an itemized, detailed list of where you are and who you're with every waking moment you're not with her, and even send her pictures on your camera phone for extra proof. Not only is there nothing you can do, for the record, her inability to trust is not your problem to solve. Do yourself a favor, and leave things as is between you two, at least until she can let go of some of her baggage.